Choose one of the skits presented today and offer some thoughts regarding effective strategies for addressing the issue. Please identify the "skit issue" in your post.
I thought the skit involving the N-Word and how it relates to our work was very strong. The feedback that Jayson was receiving is the kind of information we can all use and will help in training our RAs who can struggle with those encounters. The follow up on how different groups use words inside their own "in group" is a good reminder and gives a different challenge when overheard, as often happens in living communities.
In terms of the skit about hate/bias language being written on the dry erase board I think that some steps could be taken to educate the entire floor as a community. A bulletin board (because they can be effective educational tools!!)could be created around the topic of language and it's effects on others around us. As an RA my floor had a problem with using hurtful language so in response I decorated a wall on our floor which I titled "Do you really know what you're saying?" which included some choice words and phrases such as "bitch", and "that's so gay" and under them I had the origin of the word, what it's real meaning is, and how the words can offend certain groups of people. At first my residents thought that it was silly and still continued to use that language but as I explained it to them they really caught on. Some of them still talk about "the wall" with me when I run into them. Using tools that provide residents with a daily reminder and explanation of how their language offends others around them could be effective in these situations.
The skit about the hate/bias words on the white board is something that may not have a clear cut solution. I do believe educating residents about the meaning behind derogotory terms will help, but also talking about a basic lesson in hurting someone's feeling might be effective. Students will always have their own way of joking about things, but putting those ideas out in the open where others may be effected should be the issue focused up.
The N Word scenario is one that I often struggle with. I have many close friends who identify as black and will often say "whats up" to me by using the words "whats good my nigga" - I am white. Story time - I went out with one of my black friends and met up with some of his buddies (they were black as well). He introduced me to his boys as "yo this is my nigga Mathias." I went with it at the time but was pretty taken back. Later, one on one I asked him; "yo brotha I got a question one why do you use the N word like it's nothing and two why would you introduce me to your boys using that word?" Probably, one of the most intense conversations I have ever been a part of then took place but he basically told me that it was a sign of respect and it told his boys that I was a good dude they could trust. I am not sure that I to this day fully understand how using that word means that - I to am a student of history and have taken several black history courses - it's crazy for me to even try to wrap my head around the idea that this word was meant as a sign of respect with how much hate is in its usage history. I have since had conversations with other friends who identify as black in my generation and asked them if they sometimes use the word the same way and they concurred.
Leading me to the thought that it is not only a culturally or "in group out group" thing as discussed today but also a generational issue. I think many of my friends and residents who use the word sincerely don't recognize or choose to not recognize the deep history behind the word and the power it indeed carries.
My greatest struggle and what I am eager to learn tactics for is when it comes to the people who use it who I don't know fully - regardless of their race - I feel as if I am seen as a big white educated dude who simply doesn't understand and that my words are text book not real world based.
I really appreciated J's explanation so to say about the word, it is without a doubt a double negative to some extent as he said but I have a better understanding of why some people choose to use it (regardless of right or wrong).
In all, I think the word and addressing its usage is so difficult because there are so many interpretations to its usage - which is why we get the "its not a big deal" response from our students.
I am looking forward to tomorrow's discussion about this and the other situations.
The skit that most resonated with me was the one on the N word. Admittedly, as a child I never knew what gay meant and I went along with the crowd of peers who said "that's so gay" because it seemed that "gay" meant "dumb." When I was 7, a family member who identifies as lesbian pulled me aside to tell me what "gay" meant and told me of her offense to the way I had been using the word. I had never meant to offend anyone and I like to think that most of our students do not want to offend anyone, either - but I often talk to students about impact over intent. Someone can hurt another person and an entire community regardless of whether that was the intent.
I do not think that we all need a family member who identifies a particular way to teach us how we might be offending someone. However, I think that we all can and should confront others who say or do things that offend us or could offend someone else. I sometimes struggle with the timing of the conversation. Should I confront in the heat of the moment so that the student best remembers the situation and so that others around can also get the message? Or should I confront the student later on so that they do not feel targeted or embarassed? Either way, I try to be assertive but also respectful so that I do not turn off the student or give the impression that I am preaching. I try to not just say "that is wrong" but instead explain why a particular word or statement could be offensive.
I too think the N word skit was powerful. I think it modeled behavior that we would hope that our student could exhibit among friends. However this can often be very difficult to confront (much like Matthias mentioned). I think if we can empower our students to confront this type of behavior, it will be 100% more effective that us as Student Affairs Professionals (and perhaps ever our RAs) confronting it. While this skit focused on the N word, I think that more often our students use other words (such as bitch, homo, fag, etc) and most students veiw the N word as almost too tabo to mention. Helping our students understand the weight of their words and empowering them to confront their peers, I believe we can help confront the racial issues found on our campus.
The N-word skit resonated the most with me for various reasons. I am of the belief that the word should not be used by any group, in or out. When Jayson used the word in the skit, I forgot (for a moment) that he was a staff member playing a role; what I heard was a white man saying the N-word and I cringed and got really angry. The funny thing is that I also cringed when Jean-Claude said the word, but I was slightly less offended.
As a person of color, I would want to address the use of the word with Jean-Claude and not Jayson. Jayson's character used the term out of ignorance, while Jean-Claude's character was intentional with his usage. I would want to educate him about what message it sends when the out group hears it and assumes its okay.
The notion that owning a word somehow lessens its impact is obsurd to me. The history of the word is something we can't erase, take back or change. So if there is true ownership to be had with the use of the N-word, let it be owning its negative impact and doing our part to ensure that history does not repeat itself and we (i.e. in-group)don't live up to the definition - uneducated.
I appreciate the groups discussion on apathetic students because that is something that I have definitely struggled with this year. I think we need to be more innovative about meeting the students where they are. There are ways to interact and give them a place to speak besides just having our traditional programs (the 3 Fs) and inviting them to meetings. For example, maybe we could start a blog. We could also have some sort of feedback box and then put the information together in a newsletter (print or email). We could also ask residents to do some sort of survey as they come in the lobby and then post the results in an anonymous way to show how the residents of that particular building feel about certain topics. Those things might help residents realize that even if they are not offended other people they live with could be. ... Just some free flowing thoughts I had.
The N word skit was powerful, but I think we should take a good look at the denial skit. When someone tells us they don’t want to live with someone because they are black or gay or whatever, it’s hard to hear I admit. But we stand by “We do not discriminate”, dig our heels in and refuse to make the move. My question is this, are we doing the other person a disservice? Do we have the right to put a minority student who has been pre-judge in the room with the person who did the prejudging or whose parents did the pre-judging? How are our actions justified to that student? Why should that student have to live with someone who has this bias, why should their new home have tension before they even arrive?
Most of the skits today are the walls that I hit all semester as a staff member trying to make an impact on our community. None of the methods we used were effective and I often felt defeated and frustrated - both by the failure of the method and the apathy of the students. I like the thoughts in the post above mine suggesting blogs, newletters, other methods. It is time to find new ways to approach an old problem.
I guess I'd like to comment less on skits (we only had time for a couple, since most of the groups simply presented their initial idea) and more about topics mentioned in the blog posts...
To be honest, I'm VERY divided when it comes to rhetoric and language. There's a large part of me who instinctively cringes at even the suggestion of the N word or other derogatory terms being used in any sort of "positive" social context. At the same time, there are many philosophers, sociologists, psychologists, linguists and others who make the point that since language changes over time, so should words and their meaning, sometimes progressively and other times regressively.
For instance, the term Hispanic was not thought to be an issue until around 10 years ago or less and Californians (go Ron!) thought about how the term Hispanic really only refers to the origins of Spanish colonialism in Hispaniola, the island now referred to as half Haiti, and half the Dominican Republic.
The term Latino most often refers to anyone from Latin America, in part because of its intended umbrella internationally, but also for language (given that not all Latinos speak Spanish, Brazil is almost entirely Portugues).
I found this website that referred to a bit of what I just said: http://www.hispanic-culture-online.com/hispanic-vs-latino.html
To be honest, I have a concern with the term Latino because it is GENDERED (Latino implies male, Latina female, but what about transgendered or intersex?). It may be picky, but a point to make, nonetheless.
All in all, what I'm trying to say is that while words have immense power, there is also power that drives the CHANGE in terms and their meaning or context. Perhaps I'll ponder this a bit more before our sessions tomorrow....
I am looking forward to having more time to discuss the skits tomorrow in both the small and the large groups. I hope to walk away with additional insights into the thinking (or lack of thinking) that may be behind students using bigoted or biased language and how to respond in a way that is educational/appropriate while not side stepping the negative impact these incidents can have on individuals and communities. As I write this I think that a key element is experience...having experiences that reveal different perspectives...what are the ways that we can do this with our staff and communities. It also gives me hope as I read some of the prior suggestions/examples given on ways to have a conversation or educate that makes a difference.
In my opinion, the underlying issue within all the scenarios is how do we address the apathy of our students when it comes to issues of hate-bias, homophobia, etc.? In other words, how do you begin a conversation when no one is willing to listen? I think as Student Affairs professionals, sometimes we forget that not everyone shares our passion for social justice and equality. Consequently, whilst the suggestions of open forums and judicial reprimands do provide temporary solutions to these situations, the question still remains; what can we do, to move the Towson community forward to a place where apathy in reference to these issues, is not merely frowned upon but simply not tolerated?
For me, it is not surprising that the N-word skit is on the minds of so many of my colleagues. The N-word has a lot of power, history, and meaning for a lot of people from various backgrounds. However, for me, the harder situation for me to deal with is the "joking" situation, especially when both sides of the bias incident see it as a joke and do not realize not only what they are doing to each other, but the community at large. In general, I feel our students have very little sense of how their actions affects the community or even what the "community" is in general. Helping them move past the fact that both parties are complicit in the bias act and showing them that they have created a huge scar in their living environment, and possibly harmed those that live with them in it, seems like a daunting task. Further complicating the situation is the question "are both sides really complicit?". Does Brian really see it as a joke by Joe or is he bowing down to peer pressure and trying not to make any waves in the social standard he is observing?
I agree that N word skit was powerful and resonated most yesterday. I think that every group on campus has some word that serves as a trigger for them when used by an outside group. So many of us probably struggle at sometime with a similar situation. I liked that it was the power of friendship that was used to talk to Greg instead of what may be viewed as a person of power. I think that we overlook the power of student voices to influence other students, sometimes we jump to use an RLC or other administrator, when sometimes a friend having a 1 on 1 conversation can make a more lasting impact on changing behavior.
The apathy skit struck me the most. It is very disappointing to me that our students are not as engaged and concerned with responding to hate/bias incidents as we would hope. In addition, I think it is extremely difficult to find a way to engage them and maybe that is why they appear to not be concerned. I think the group came up with a good solution to this continuous problem we are facing.
I think that
ReplyDeleteI thought the skit involving the N-Word and how it relates to our work was very strong. The feedback that Jayson was receiving is the kind of information we can all use and will help in training our RAs who can struggle with those encounters. The follow up on how different groups use words inside their own "in group" is a good reminder and gives a different challenge when overheard, as often happens in living communities.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of the skit about hate/bias language being written on the dry erase board I think that some steps could be taken to educate the entire floor as a community. A bulletin board (because they can be effective educational tools!!)could be created around the topic of language and it's effects on others around us. As an RA my floor had a problem with using hurtful language so in response I decorated a wall on our floor which I titled "Do you really know what you're saying?" which included some choice words and phrases such as "bitch", and "that's so gay" and under them I had the origin of the word, what it's real meaning is, and how the words can offend certain groups of people. At first my residents thought that it was silly and still continued to use that language but as I explained it to them they really caught on. Some of them still talk about "the wall" with me when I run into them. Using tools that provide residents with a daily reminder and explanation of how their language offends others around them could be effective in these situations.
ReplyDeleteThe skit about the hate/bias words on the white board is something that may not have a clear cut solution. I do believe educating residents about the meaning behind derogotory terms will help, but also talking about a basic lesson in hurting someone's feeling might be effective. Students will always have their own way of joking about things, but putting those ideas out in the open where others may be effected should be the issue focused up.
ReplyDeleteThe N Word scenario is one that I often struggle with. I have many close friends who identify as black and will often say "whats up" to me by using the words "whats good my nigga" - I am white. Story time - I went out with one of my black friends and met up with some of his buddies (they were black as well). He introduced me to his boys as "yo this is my nigga Mathias." I went with it at the time but was pretty taken back. Later, one on one I asked him; "yo brotha I got a question one why do you use the N word like it's nothing and two why would you introduce me to your boys using that word?" Probably, one of the most intense conversations I have ever been a part of then took place but he basically told me that it was a sign of respect and it told his boys that I was a good dude they could trust. I am not sure that I to this day fully understand how using that word means that - I to am a student of history and have taken several black history courses - it's crazy for me to even try to wrap my head around the idea that this word was meant as a sign of respect with how much hate is in its usage history. I have since had conversations with other friends who identify as black in my generation and asked them if they sometimes use the word the same way and they concurred.
ReplyDeleteLeading me to the thought that it is not only a culturally or "in group out group" thing as discussed today but also a generational issue. I think many of my friends and residents who use the word sincerely don't recognize or choose to not recognize the deep history behind the word and the power it indeed carries.
My greatest struggle and what I am eager to learn tactics for is when it comes to the people who use it who I don't know fully - regardless of their race - I feel as if I am seen as a big white educated dude who simply doesn't understand and that my words are text book not real world based.
I really appreciated J's explanation so to say about the word, it is without a doubt a double negative to some extent as he said but I have a better understanding of why some people choose to use it (regardless of right or wrong).
In all, I think the word and addressing its usage is so difficult because there are so many interpretations to its usage - which is why we get the "its not a big deal" response from our students.
I am looking forward to tomorrow's discussion about this and the other situations.
Do Big Things,
Mathizzle Koller
The skit that most resonated with me was the one on the N word. Admittedly, as a child I never knew what gay meant and I went along with the crowd of peers who said "that's so gay" because it seemed that "gay" meant "dumb." When I was 7, a family member who identifies as lesbian pulled me aside to tell me what "gay" meant and told me of her offense to the way I had been using the word. I had never meant to offend anyone and I like to think that most of our students do not want to offend anyone, either - but I often talk to students about impact over intent. Someone can hurt another person and an entire community regardless of whether that was the intent.
ReplyDeleteI do not think that we all need a family member who identifies a particular way to teach us how we might be offending someone. However, I think that we all can and should confront others who say or do things that offend us or could offend someone else. I sometimes struggle with the timing of the conversation. Should I confront in the heat of the moment so that the student best remembers the situation and so that others around can also get the message? Or should I confront the student later on so that they do not feel targeted or embarassed? Either way, I try to be assertive but also respectful so that I do not turn off the student or give the impression that I am preaching. I try to not just say "that is wrong" but instead explain why a particular word or statement could be offensive.
I too think the N word skit was powerful. I think it modeled behavior that we would hope that our student could exhibit among friends. However this can often be very difficult to confront (much like Matthias mentioned). I think if we can empower our students to confront this type of behavior, it will be 100% more effective that us as Student Affairs Professionals (and perhaps ever our RAs) confronting it. While this skit focused on the N word, I think that more often our students use other words (such as bitch, homo, fag, etc) and most students veiw the N word as almost too tabo to mention. Helping our students understand the weight of their words and empowering them to confront their peers, I believe we can help confront the racial issues found on our campus.
ReplyDeleteThe N-word skit resonated the most with me for various reasons. I am of the belief that the word should not be used by any group, in or out. When Jayson used the word in the skit, I forgot (for a moment) that he was a staff member playing a role; what I heard was a white man saying the N-word and I cringed and got really angry. The funny thing is that I also cringed when Jean-Claude said the word, but I was slightly less offended.
ReplyDeleteAs a person of color, I would want to address the use of the word with Jean-Claude and not Jayson. Jayson's character used the term out of ignorance, while Jean-Claude's character was intentional with his usage. I would want to educate him about what message it sends when the out group hears it and assumes its okay.
The notion that owning a word somehow lessens its impact is obsurd to me. The history of the word is something we can't erase, take back or change. So if there is true ownership to be had with the use of the N-word, let it be owning its negative impact and doing our part to ensure that history does not repeat itself and we (i.e. in-group)don't live up to the definition - uneducated.
I appreciate the groups discussion on apathetic students because that is something that I have definitely struggled with this year. I think we need to be more innovative about meeting the students where they are. There are ways to interact and give them a place to speak besides just having our traditional programs (the 3 Fs) and inviting them to meetings. For example, maybe we could start a blog. We could also have some sort of feedback box and then put the information together in a newsletter (print or email). We could also ask residents to do some sort of survey as they come in the lobby and then post the results in an anonymous way to show how the residents of that particular building feel about certain topics. Those things might help residents realize that even if they are not offended other people they live with could be. ... Just some free flowing thoughts I had.
ReplyDeleteI second Mathias - DO BIG THINGS!
I'm really enjoying these blog posts and cannot wait to share all sorts of ideas tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteThe N word skit was powerful, but I think we should take a good look at the denial skit. When someone tells us they don’t want to live with someone because they are black or gay or whatever, it’s hard to hear I admit. But we stand by “We do not discriminate”, dig our heels in and refuse to make the move. My question is this, are we doing the other person a disservice? Do we have the right to put a minority student who has been pre-judge in the room with the person who did the prejudging or whose parents did the pre-judging? How are our actions justified to that student? Why should that student have to live with someone who has this bias, why should their new home have tension before they even arrive?
ReplyDeleteMost of the skits today are the walls that I hit all semester as a staff member trying to make an impact on our community.
ReplyDeleteNone of the methods we used were effective and I often felt defeated and frustrated - both by the failure of the method and the apathy of the students.
I like the thoughts in the post above mine suggesting blogs, newletters, other methods. It is time to find new ways to approach an old problem.
I guess I'd like to comment less on skits (we only had time for a couple, since most of the groups simply presented their initial idea) and more about topics mentioned in the blog posts...
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I'm VERY divided when it comes to rhetoric and language. There's a large part of me who instinctively cringes at even the suggestion of the N word or other derogatory terms being used in any sort of "positive" social context. At the same time, there are many philosophers, sociologists, psychologists, linguists and others who make the point that since language changes over time, so should words and their meaning, sometimes progressively and other times regressively.
For instance, the term Hispanic was not thought to be an issue until around 10 years ago or less and Californians (go Ron!) thought about how the term Hispanic really only refers to the origins of Spanish colonialism in Hispaniola, the island now referred to as half Haiti, and half the Dominican Republic.
The term Latino most often refers to anyone from Latin America, in part because of its intended umbrella internationally, but also for language (given that not all Latinos speak Spanish, Brazil is almost entirely Portugues).
I found this website that referred to a bit of what I just said: http://www.hispanic-culture-online.com/hispanic-vs-latino.html
To be honest, I have a concern with the term Latino because it is GENDERED (Latino implies male, Latina female, but what about transgendered or intersex?). It may be picky, but a point to make, nonetheless.
All in all, what I'm trying to say is that while words have immense power, there is also power that drives the CHANGE in terms and their meaning or context. Perhaps I'll ponder this a bit more before our sessions tomorrow....
I am looking forward to having more time to discuss the skits tomorrow in both the small and the large groups. I hope to walk away with additional insights into the thinking (or lack of thinking) that may be behind students using bigoted or biased language and how to respond in a way that is educational/appropriate while not side stepping the negative impact these incidents can have on individuals and communities. As I write this I think that a key element is experience...having experiences that reveal different perspectives...what are the ways that we can do this with our staff and communities. It also gives me hope as I read some of the prior suggestions/examples given on ways to have a conversation or educate that makes a difference.
ReplyDeleteRon
In my opinion, the underlying issue within all the scenarios is how do we address the apathy of our students when it comes to issues of hate-bias, homophobia, etc.? In other words, how do you begin a conversation when no one is willing to listen? I think as Student Affairs professionals, sometimes we forget that not everyone shares our passion for social justice and equality. Consequently, whilst the suggestions of open forums and judicial reprimands do provide temporary solutions to these situations, the question still remains; what can we do, to move the Towson community forward to a place where apathy in reference to these issues, is not merely frowned upon but simply not tolerated?
ReplyDeleteFor me, it is not surprising that the N-word skit is on the minds of so many of my colleagues. The N-word has a lot of power, history, and meaning for a lot of people from various backgrounds. However, for me, the harder situation for me to deal with is the "joking" situation, especially when both sides of the bias incident see it as a joke and do not realize not only what they are doing to each other, but the community at large. In general, I feel our students have very little sense of how their actions affects the community or even what the "community" is in general. Helping them move past the fact that both parties are complicit in the bias act and showing them that they have created a huge scar in their living environment, and possibly harmed those that live with them in it, seems like a daunting task. Further complicating the situation is the question "are both sides really complicit?". Does Brian really see it as a joke by Joe or is he bowing down to peer pressure and trying not to make any waves in the social standard he is observing?
ReplyDeleteI agree that N word skit was powerful and resonated most yesterday. I think that every group on campus has some word that serves as a trigger for them when used by an outside group. So many of us probably struggle at sometime with a similar situation. I liked that it was the power of friendship that was used to talk to Greg instead of what may be viewed as a person of power. I think that we overlook the power of student voices to influence other students, sometimes we jump to use an RLC or other administrator, when sometimes a friend having a 1 on 1 conversation can make a more lasting impact on changing behavior.
ReplyDeleteThe apathy skit struck me the most. It is very disappointing to me that our students are not as engaged and concerned with responding to hate/bias incidents as we would hope. In addition, I think it is extremely difficult to find a way to engage them and maybe that is why they appear to not be concerned. I think the group came up with a good solution to this continuous problem we are facing.
ReplyDelete